The curious case of the ‘Prince Of Pegging’ hashtag.

The ‘Prince of Pegging’ hashtag penetrating the twittersphere this morning (sans lube) may initially conjure a playground titter; a ‘good old seaside souvenir postcard’ bit of retro risqué titilation. After all, the British, despite having a cultural reputation for sexual repression, also have a very long and historic track record with double entendre, sexual rumour, ‘quiet queerness’ and one could argue, a very complicated relationship with kink.

But in the year of 2022, as much as the titular online rumour mill generated by ‘Deux Moi’ has given us all a little welcome snicker as we breakfasted (and a small sexual education thanks to Professor Google for some it surprisingly seems) the hashtag and it’s allegations reveal something altogether darker, far less innocent and decidedly un-comical.

Modern culture may often appear to have become far more accepting and now sometimes celebratory of sexuality in all its myriad of forms. On the complex venn diagram of sexuality, gender and identity, the idea of a rich tapestry of desire, pleasure and satisfaction, in a myriad of forms, is not by any means a new one.

Indeed, from the Ancient Greeks to the Romans, sex between consenting adults of varying genders, participants and proclivities is widely explored and reflected in art and literature. Brothel walls in ghostly Pompeii display the pictorial menus of the varied services on offer. And yet, homosexuality and specifically ‘buggery’ remained a crime punishable by law until 1967. British literary culture remembers well the trial of one of its greatest luminaries, Oscar Wilde and one of our greatest National Heroes, Alan Turing, was only posthumously pardoned in 2013 after suffering chemical castration that drove him to suicide.

Patriarchal attitudes to sex have long maligned any aspect of sexual pleasure from the performative, reproductive act itself. A kaleidoscope of beauty and self and mutual expression and actualisation rendered soulless black and white. Anything outside these traditional, marital, secular norms was ‘sinful’ and wrong. Superfluous. The pinch of puritanical simplicity reaching its bony fingers through centuries.

Amongst the twittersphere responses today, the stench of homophobia and misogyny pervades. Penetration is only acceptable, cis male to cis woman. To be penetrated is to be vulnerable, to be lesser, to be impregnated, used. ‘Funny’ images of our alleged ‘pegee’, on all fours, comical, emasculated, loom across the timeline. The patriarchy doesn’t allow for men to be anything other than hunter gatherer cavemen, fucking their merry way though life, seizing pleasure, spreading seed, conquering and ruling, whether consensually or otherwise. To take, to give, is masculine. To receive, to yield, is feminine.

As writer and Queer artist and activist Jason Reid states, there is a very distinct link to shaming of those that receive, even within gay culture, “bottoms are often shamed - outdated tropes such as its not gay if you top etc- people who are pegged are shamed because it is seen as emasculating. In my opinion, this is the result of decades of toxic gender stereotyping”. Even though there is a plethora of evidence and even better, increasingly physically present breathing humans to verbally challenge outmoded patriarchal societal norms, old habits and ingrained perceptions, die hard.

On the complicated venn diagram of sexuality, queerness and kink will always be inextricably linked. Kink is still wildly misrepresented and misunderstood in the mainstream, as the success of ‘Fifty Shades Of ‘That’s not at all how that works actually’ would exemplify. Move over Freud and Deutsch, with your long championed reduction of women as naturally masochistic and submissive.

The lure of the Domme and indeed, the desire inspired by the powerful feminine is one lost on few, least of all me. And yet to place pegging as a sexual act into such simplistic boxes is to play directly into the hands of patriarchally dictated roles. The paradoxical nature of dominance and submission is far more nuanced and intricate. And while we’re on the subject, men are physiologically designed to physically enjoy being penetrated, with the prostrate being an erogenous zone. Explain that one Freud!

According to one of the Uk’s biggest online sex toy retailer, 10% of women have pegged their partner. It is perhaps reflective of the level of shaming of our alleged aristocratic pegging enthusiast that statistics seem varied and difficult to obtain. However, the array of strap-ons for sale, articles and even guides online would paint a very different picture of the amount of men in the UK who fantasise about and actively enjoy it. Yet the twittersphere has dealt a verdict that is overwhelmingly negative and riddled with sexual shaming and pejorative judgement.

So where does that leave a masc presenting, traditionally minded, powerful cis male who also happens to enjoy pegging with (as the rumours present) the permission and indeed, blessing of their spouse? Ridiculed, if the majority of today’s related content is the measure. And that should make us all, especially those of us that enjoy a colourful sexuality, deeply uncomfortable. In the curious case of the ‘Pegged Prince’ hashtag, anyone not wishing themselves back to Puritan England, gets Royally fucked.